Where are the miracles?

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you; He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” — Deuteronomy 31:8

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Hold your head high. Keep on moving.

Suck it up, buttercup.

This, too, shall pass…

There are so many one-liners meant to motivate, cheer up, or point to the positive, yet sometimes one simply wants to light the match and see the dumpster burn...well, at least I do.

For the past five years, I have dealt with the slow deterioration of my health. It has felt like someone is playing that old Operation game and I have to say; they stink at it. I’ve been chasing a phantom, which continues to be an infuriating menace. Viable symptoms present themselves, but the cause has yet to be pinned down. Am I frustrated? Very. Nearly every waking minute, I’m in pain. How am I supposed to function?

Lately, life has felt like it’s circling the drain of debilitation. My best-laid plans for the future are crumbling before my eyes. I have commitments, goals, hopes, and dreams. My list of complaints and frustrations is long. I’ve fallen into the “it could be worse” trap, too. This gives guilt a front-row seat to every meltdown. The future is uncertain, and the present is hard to handle.

Yet, I cannot disregard the beautiful silver lining. Many valuable lessons have illuminated my mind and changed my perspective through the strife. God has been my constant companion through it all. The only roadblock to feeling His presence has been me. I’m blessed by many sets of helping hands and an abundance of patience from those who render service. As this paradox continues, I’ve started stepping back to allow for a posture of observation. Here’s what I’ve found.

1.        Chronic illness, continuous pain, and the unknown are a combo that challenges mental health. Because of this, I must be very intentional with my environment, what I watch and listen to, who I spend time with, and how I expend energy.

2.        Laughter releases tension and a good cry followed by a nap is the equivalent of turning a computer off and on again when it’s in distress.

3.        Service to others, no matter how small, gets me out of self and silences the gremlins gnawing at my mind.

4.        Time working on my spiritual condition is as important as taking my meds.

5.        Acceptance of the support I need (wheelchair, handicapped parking, a cane, etc.) has helped me find peace with my limitations and has restored some of the lost energy.

6.        I find myself more able to love people, to drop my walls and reservations. This one perplexes me. I’m a happy introvert and spent years quite feral. My misgivings about people came out of a need for safety. Now, when I’m busted up, I don’t seem to need the space between others like I have before.

My initial reaction to all of this can be summed up in one word—WEIRD. But is it?

.…listen to the Lord who created you…the one who formed you says,

“Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

I have called you by name; you are mine.

When you go through deep waters,

I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

You will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

You will not be burned up;

The flames will not consume you.

For I am the Lord, your God,

The Holy one of Israel, your Savior.

-Isaiah 43:1-3

Over and over again, scripture says God is faithful, no matter our condition. When life is turbulent, when I’ve felt adrift and abandoned time and again, the declaration “you are mine” calms my worries and fears

With time in the rooms of recovery, I have been able to grow my connection to God. I’ve learned that though people have hurt me, God has never abandoned me, and He never will. As I continue to open my heart to Him, my rough edges smooth out. I find that I can engage with others without as much trepidation. Being His is the greatest miracle I could ever ask for.

The takeaway? When life goes all willy-nilly and you find yourself trudging through the valley, remember that you, too, are His. We do not walk in these uncertain times alone. We never have, and we never will.

If you have a need I can pray over, please reach out. It would be an honor and blessing to serve you. May blessings abound in your life as you walk in the sunlight of God’s love. Have a great week—Jo.

Affirmation: Today, I will remember that God has made me, that I am His, and because of this, I never have to feel alone.

—From the Fire Ring, Vol. 3, No. 6